today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
