Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
