I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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