is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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