the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
