Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
