R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
