We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All the doctor said was why
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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