His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
