i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
