I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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