Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize