I hate your face
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
