I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was like eating out sand paper
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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