There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
