He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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