I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
