i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
