I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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