he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
a search helicopter?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
