i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
