Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need to stop coming to work sober
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
