i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it hurts more in the daytime
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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