he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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