is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize