she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
