The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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