okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
