the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she looked like the before picture.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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