i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
