ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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