My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
