is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Im part way to drunk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
