then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize