there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
