I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So. Much. Porn.
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