I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
