i will never coherently bang her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize