I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
