I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
