You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
