Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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