the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
