i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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