Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
