How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
