I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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