Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
