Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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