Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Randomize
