We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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