I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
