I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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