the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
