I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We left the knife in your bed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
