You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
