the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
