the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
