I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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