wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
