I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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