Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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