I CAN MOONWALK!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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