When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
